Ripped to Shreds, Never Meds
Chris Youngblood December 8, 2023
No, you should have never left me alone,
To my own devices, left hooks and bare bones.
After ripping apart till the stone was sand,
Torn apart down to the studs and the land
A temple in ruins, looking for the bones of my fathers,
I began again.
Refilled the hourglass with the sand you raiders left me,
While you laughed walking away taunting in the desert cause you weren’t allowed to finish your last bite. 346
“It is of no matter. Leave him his humble abode, his despair. See what he has with no life force! GOOD LUCK! The trials of Job, haaaaaaa!”
If only you knew, you should have never left me alone.
While the hourglass of 46 cranked away I built hollow strings to puppet Kronos slowly when he was away, during meditation.
I started to rebuild the temple.
You came back to feed, didn’t you. I woke up to it that night and saw your spectre. Was that you at Blanchard and BriarCliffe a few hours later, out in the morning when it was you and me. I saw you stumbling on your last leg, you expected more sand, did you? FOOL. Did you remember Chris, the boy? I did.
You should have never left me alone.
No help, no meds, just alone, the sandglass ticking while I slowly bind Kronos.
Your kind haunted me in those woods in that haunted town all those years ago, kicked out by the dark feminine to go explore. Even then I was looking for the bones of my fathers.
The sweet nectar was no longer sweet and the male fended for himself. Imprints that left footprints which never lost their freshness. Mud does that.
Walking among the tombstones near the cliffs of the Mississippi (Nile) I found my way back.
But I always knew you were there, lurking, but oh, how I welcomed the darkness even then.
You should have never left me alone.
I kicked out the dark feminine this time but dark heart was left. You fed on it until it was nothing. You ripped out even the dark parts and left it barren. A life force for 44, gone from 44 – 46.
Wondering in the desert with no water, not even mirage to mirror, just myself. So I drank my own piss.
And for just a moment, one small moment, in the throws of DEATH, I laughed in DEFIANCE. That is all I needed, just a spark. I’d like to think just before you left the desert, you heard and didn’t believe. You remember Chris, the teenager? I did.
You should have never left me alone.
I dug and found where it began in the womb, in this incarnation, in this existence. Found the problems, built from there, intense meditation, remembering, altering and squaring the compass. Tears and tools. Crys and laughter. Tribes, totems, the cosmic birthright before the womb. The boy building sovereignty again. Rebuilding the temple to welcome back my walk through the pillars.
You should have never left me alone.
I noticed the recruiter you sent slyly. I shewed him away. 346
All of this for 23.
Fists still hitting, kicks still kicking but wisdom behind it.
Triadic integration of the heart with the intellect I built before the pillage.
Entered the dojo of my mission, every day building upon the next.
Will, Will, Will.
You should have never left me alone.
You should never have left me alone and bare. Because I had all the elements to build back within myself. I HAD FINAL CUT.
I fear not your fear mongering, your fake light, your tricks to weaken me. I know the dark feminine still works her sorcery but I am dispassionate.
Samson had hair, I don’t.
The sirens call, but tie not myself. Again, refer back to how you should have never left me alone.
Peace, Hetep. Finally the reconciling of opposites in one being, EYE. Horus.
Resting, not restless. Captain on the water, calm seas, always calm, like Jesus not bothered by the storm. The hourglass in my quarters I shattered with the axe of Neter. I stand at the front of the boat, anchor cast off. Chris, the boy, my shipmate, always keeping watch behind, whispering whose back there.
You should have never left me alone.
The peace and righteous alignment there, the warriors in my code call out. They threw me one last test to make sure I’m ready to slay you once and for all. All of you.
As I sat in my car that night at that spot, knowing in every part of my soul that Nordic traitor, he had given up his warrior code and lost his regeneration in my place to be weakened by the dark feminine; knowing I would NEVER want to be him, at complete peace knowing that I passed the final test; out of curiosity I looked at how many days had passed since you left me alone, thirsty, barren, lost, broken, in that hole in the desert. NO LIE, 346.
I remember my code, what I came here for and why you hunted me, the requirements and responsibilities source put in me before I incarnated. I understand why you want to destroy that, I know your tactics. I took the bruises for years cause deep down I knew.
MY LAUGHTER HAUNTS YOU NOW. MY WAR CRY FILLS YOUR EARS. MORE AWAKE THAN I’VE EVER BEEN. AND THAT’S SCARY.
You feed not here. You are wolves, I am that lion who hunts in the dark and cold. ALWAYS WAS!!
Coronation begins soon. I will see you at the mountain where the sun shines, whether it be snow, rain, or heat, I will smite you. See you in 25 days.
If you run and do not show I understand. Because, after all….
You should have never f*cking left me alone.