Reflections on a life of one who encouraged me, mid life thoughts, abiding consciousness
Chris Youngblood March 7, 2024
“You don’t have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body.”-C.S. Lewis
When one gets to a certain age and elders leave this realm, one contemplates the past and how it unites with the present. What are the grains of thought sand sprinkled throughout time which have built the architecture of one’s life, one’s temple? Who are the ones who laid the foundation upon which you steadfastly arise from? What were the costs paid for you to arrive?
Additionally, what choices, gifts of the spirit, interests, modes of being did you possess, and how did these attributes mix in with those chosen to be in your circle?
The humility and gratitude which springs forth from this well cannot be measured. They are intangible. The well runneth over. How did one get to where they are? The unbelievable choices, synchronicities, failures (lessons), knuckle dragging, shocks to the system culminating in one word, love, have brought you forth to this moment, which stands alone, outside of time. A choice will be made that will kick in all of these measures again, with new people new adventures, new love and loss. This is the cycle. Birth, death, regeneration. Anything born must be subject to the laws of nature and ultimately die. This is put forth in the realm of creation, upon the pedestal of creation (pedestal of MAAT), order that came from primordial consciousness (chaos).
However, if one has the will, intensity and discernment to step outside of oneself, look around and look inward (collective and self consciousness), one knows that all nature is the creation of the one, the source. In these bodies in which our souls incarnate, we offer the gift of duality, male and female, light and dark, yang and yin. These dualities are beautiful to be sure, but the harnessing of them into one equilibrium, is the goal in life. Little by little, the spiritual life chips away at this duality until the code, the ancient black dot symbol of source, is achieved. Through the process of sublimation of the lower self to the higher, achieving Divine Will in this life, one can ascend back to source and abide (even in this life as training for the next). No longer leaving the life force emanations dangling outside of the dark recesses of the mind (temple). They come forth into the darkness, free, TRULY HOME.
Throw off the feters to become a neter is what I say. The feters are the bandages, the mummy wrapped, dormant. The world applies bandages to the problems, saying, “More bandages.” Cutting oneself and saying the solution is more bandages, versus diving into the problems. Cause > Effect.
In the Osiris Mythology, in Osiris’s original form, he was timeless, immortal and untouched by passions of human nature. He became weak and had intercourse with Nebthet, Set’s wife. Nebthet represents nature and death. Set, the lower self (lower chakras), became enraged and dismembered Osiris. Osiris fell so far, so dismembered. Isis (wisdom, self knowledge), through devotion to love and the divine, helped nurture or put him back together. She had to go looking first. Osiris re membered to his true nature.
The symbols and images surrounding the triad of Osiris, Isis and Nebthet are deep. The head dress of the two goddesses are inverted. Each is a reflection of the other, both aspects of the same principle. Their body and facial features are exactly alike. Isis in her other aspect is MAAT. The two goddesses stand over Osiris’s body in his tomb together. One cannot be without the other. One has to go through life, trials, death, AND have the wisdom (eye of Horus) to return to the immortal. There is even deeper significance to this in the stars over the Giza pyramids but I won’t get into it.
This arduous road with its twists and turns, this life, “Coming in from the Cold,” as Bob Marley sang, we all traverse. “Yes, it’s you I’m talking to.”
“Those who live today will die tomorrow, those who die tomorrow will be born again; those who live MAAT will not die.”-Ancient Egyptian Proverb
Yesterday I lost someone who cared for me for a time, encouraged my endeavors (investigations of life) and influenced me through her uncompromising ability to do what was right (Maak – heru being true of word and deed). This was my aunt Sally. She was not a blood aunt but I had very much in common with her.
Sally and my Uncle Jed (yeah that was his name, he was born in the south in the 50s, whatyagonnado), kept me in their home for a few months when I was in 8th grade. They had no kids at the time but Sally was pregnant. They ended up having one child, my cousin, Hunter. Sally was pregnant with him.
During this time I helped get the baby’s room together and I anticipated it like he was a little brother in a way. This of course was all imaginative because I had no brothers, just two sisters. I always wanted a brother. Later on I was blessed with two boys of my own.
As I said, Sally passed away yesterday, just a month shy of the ten year anniversary of Jed’s death. Jed took his own life. They both are gone now. My heart goes out to Hunter for he has lost both of his parents.
When I was living with them, they had a black and white TV (this was like 1990 mind you), and had not upgraded their entertainment center. Black and white TV along with a record player, no CDs. I slept on the couch. I remember falling asleep to Arsenio Hall Show in black and white (what is that like, the Black Ed Sullivan?), which I only stayed up for if there was a good comedian and/or Hip Hop artist I liked. Hip Hop artist staying up late also for Showtime at the Apollo. However, no remote. I either fell asleep with it on or had to get up and go push that button in (if you know, you know).
The record player was awesome for me. I dived into their music on that sucker. It was also in the family room, which doubled as my bedroom. They had so much good music from the 70s. Stevie, the Who, Led Zeppelin, etc. They let me have their copy of the Beatles “Let it Be.” It’s funny because for years I had that copy they gave me and never really thought about whose it was. I just figured it was theirs together. When I put it on two years ago to play for my boys who were going through their Beatles phase, I realized it was Sallys. On the label of the actual vinyl, she had written her name, her maiden name. It’s a true original. I told her about this when I last saw her, Thanksgiving of 2022. I’ve kept the actual record (not so much the gatefold) in good condition. I asked my uncle if I have their copy of The Who, “Who’s Next.” He was like, “Nah.” Ha Ha, can’t blame him.
Sally at one time worked for Monsanto. She then found out the horrors of that company, followed her conscience, and left. She left a lot of money (fake ass energy) on the table. She started to look more into the power structures and when I did the same, we met. We connected. The courage she had affected me. This connection came later in life but our foundation was fostered in my early years.
When I was very young, I started reading and investigating things. I wanted to know why and how. I was curious in having a puzzle to solve. Eventually this led to unraveling mysteries, simple ones, like crimes and murders. I found Sherlock Holmes. When thinking of Natural Law, you could say, “It’s Elementary my dear Watson.” Go figure right. And with my love of hip hop in that golden age, you could have thrown on me a Bermuda Casual Kangol, Cazal Glasses, Holmes pipe in left hand, basketball in the right. Poetry, literature and poetry in motion, breaking your ankles. That would have been me.
Sally found out I had a new found interest in Sherlock Holmes and gave me the full celebrated cases from Conan Doyle, all of them in one book, Christmas of 86. Still have that too. I was nine going on ten, which I would turn two months later. There, now you know my body’s age.
This investigative mind never has left me. It started with this book. It still goes.
When I started to understand the “so called,” elite, I was in a conflict because my left brain wanted to condense the information and source it. Once I started to think this way, I came across Richard Grove. Richard was a whistleblower and at the time was the curator of Tragedy and Hope. He now has Grand Theft World. I learned from Richard that there is a so called elite, it can be known who they are and what they do and when they do it. Who, What, Where, When and Why. Richard calls himself a Forensic Historian. He has poured over many books and has created the Brain. Check that out on his website. I learned that you can read the very books by these elite written to each other and books of other whistle blowers backed up by many footnotes. But I had to do the work myself to come to the conclusions. Richard always says when he heard something crazy that the “elite” had been doing for years he always says, “I was incredulous, so I went to investigate.” Same. I found out that he was a big Sherlock Holmes fan growing up. Makes sense to me.
The same is true for Natural Law. It can be investigated, known, experienced, lived. The above paragraph are the effects of Setian qualities within those who have degraded their humanity so much that they cannot come back. Not in this life at least. They go against Natural Law, the cosmic order. So if they knock at my door or send their minions they will be met with force, God’s answer. As I’ve heard Will Keller say many times, “Nature is a good teacher.”
Knowing (not believing) what I know through study (Logos), I’ve come to the realization that these effects exist in the world through our species creating the causes of our own destruction. We’ve let the powers that shouldn’t be insert us into a game to play against each other, and oh, how we do.
There comes a time when you are comfortable in what you know enough to live a certain way and disengage from the chaos to establish order within yourself and the aggregate (consciousness). And this is not done through force but through free will action given freely to those who have free will choice. Anarchic order.
But what is freedom? What is anarchy? Is it not the establishment of order within oneself (like the term get your house in order), within one’s temple, so that the free association of ideas can energize and spread? Waves trickling together within the ocean of consciousness. Each wave with it’s own path to truth.
I look back at my path and understand it fully. I feel young again as if the quest has just begun. I might be middle aged (whatever that means) but I am in my prime. Like Kirk at the end of Wrath of Khan looking out at the planet Genesis where the body of Spock lies, he says, “I feel young.” Death is just a door. Isis and Nebthet united.
“The Divine God creates new Stars or new Worlds to serve his purpose and Will; these when their allotted task is finished decay and die out, and then are re – formed into new Stars or Worlds; so it is with man from the lowest Pygmy: each type rises to a higher type, evolution is progressive, and it is only because the great masses of people do not comprehend this and have followed the teachings of ignorant men that Socialism and Bureaucracy have arisen, and consequently caused the destruction of great nations.”-Albert Churchward “The Origin and Evolution of Freemasonry connected with the Origin and Evolution of the Human Race”
The imprints of my elders live and strengthen me. I take various aspects of the ones who influenced me. I let the Stardust fall where it wills. I Jeet Kune Do it.
Additionally, I am not just one thing. I am King, Warrior, Magician, Lover. So are you, if you want it enough. If you are willing to traverse the seven steps to heaven.
I had my road to Damascus moment, and never looked back. I went into the dark abode and woke up from the dream, still here. Death, a door, a coffin. I’ve entered 1,000 doors in this incarnation but more recently the one with “Temet Nosce” over the doorway, the final abode until my body rests and soul ascends.
For now, I walk on solid ground in between the two worlds, understanding the absolute truth and what is at stake. I fear not for I am primarily consciousness, immortal. I will defend my life, to be sure, feet planted for whatever comes.
These are the thoughts but most importantly, the feelings experiential, not merely intellectual. They come at a time of death to one who was once close but never really far away either.
What makes life precious? For me, it’s truly what you leave behind. What your actions did for the lives around you and the lives to come. What was left for generations to come? Did you live your life as immortal as you truly are?
Even with this in mind, it is only the action that matters. Not who or how many are affected. It is the action itself, pure potentiality put into action, creation. Molded into the architecture of one and many. That is god consciousness. The effects will play out how they do, leave it in the ether and all will be well in due time. The waves will ripple into each other.
I am pure, I am pure, I am pure, I am pure.
To the One who was given the name Sally, thank you. Thank you for the generosity of spirit. Thank you for being true in speech and action, following your conscience. Thank you for taking me in. Thank you for putting on a good face these last 10 years when I know that was the last thing you wanted to do, yet you still did (my 16 year old mentioned this last night). Thank you for the conspiracy conversations when no one else in the room would engage. Thank you for the book which set me on the path all those years ago.
Thanks for the stardust that rubbed off. It was absorbed. Much love and may you rest in the abode and if this is not the case, may my actions somewhere in time find you in your next incarnation.