Chris Youngblood September 4, 2024
This is a work of fiction. I have written two chapters of a possible novel in the future. This is the last chapter I will be posting on Substack for this novel. You can find the first two chapters on Chris’s original Substack post.
Cast of Characters is located within Dinner with Endlaws. I jumped around Tarantino style so this chapter, Diner Interventions, actually comes first in the story, between the three.
“With a feeling of wild joy I returned from the northern railway station where I had said goodbye to my wife …… My newly won freedom gave me a feeling of expansion, and elevation above the petty cares of life.”
We were meeting at Mike’s Diner. He let me pick. I stopped in to this diner from time to time. Had a 50s nostalgia in it. You know, that time period we’re all supposed to pretend was so innocent. I couldn’t have survived back then, with all the fakery about. At least now the suburban smiles are somewhat turned down. People register their frowns as languidly as a grocery shopper standing in line, staring out, wondering in some deep space, why am I even here for the basics.
I sat in the booth looking out at the people walking by. Dead Zone, oblivious to their own existences. While in here, models, Elvis, and big burger boy fat fuck cartoons all smiling ear to ear. The dichotomy was palpable and disturbing. It’s as if the now dead people on the walls were in on the joke, and I was too, just not smiling.
My own personal hell would be living in the American suburbs in the 50s. But would I be able to escape and travel to Greenwich Village, lower Manhattan? That could work.
What did this tall man want? Why the interest in me? How did he know about me? Normally I would be worried or apprehensive. But the aura in which he spoke, the power in his words, I wanted it. I felt a force of nature within him. And he told me, “We’ve been watching you, and we are impressed.”
He was a man who I knew thrived in life. He didn’t simply accept the way things are. He moved them into his realm. He manipulated energy. Let’s be honest, he had manipulated me here to this booth. But I chose to do so. I want power.
I heard the door open, which it had done already 15 or so times since I sat down. But I knew this time, it was him.
His 6 foot 8 frame strolled in as if he were floating. His smile was not menacing it was comforting, like he knew my struggles, what I needed, what I wanted. It’s nice to know someone cared about me. When you’re alone and another man, who walks as if he is God, notices your plight and how you want to attain godhood, it moves you. It moves you to do things you wouldn’t normally do. But I was never interested in being normal. Even though I had sunk into normality, done everything I was supposed to do, good husband, good job. Treated others with kindness. And for what? He knew this about me, I could feel it.
What I looked upon as the meal ticket sat down for a meal. And looking back now, it was only appropriate that we dined on meat for our first meet.
He smiled and said, “Oh you noticed them too?”
“Who?”
“The zombies walking by. But hey, at least they don’t pretend. Someone should put them out of their misery.” Voice was steady and calm.
He still held his smile. My lips started to turn upwards. Couldn’t resist.
“What is it you want from me?”
“It’s not what I want, it’s what I can give you.”
“What’s that?”
“Power without conscience. That’s what you want, it’s what you crave more than anything. Aren’t you tired of giving a fuck about others. What has it cost you? What has it got you?
“Loss.”
“Exactly. The people that I help are willing to win in all aspects, at all costs. They embrace the Beast within. Some people wear a Beast t shirt. Others fuck forbidden fruit.”
“You mean like him.”
“Oh no, he’s too weak minded. A man like him is only driven by lust. Lust is important in our field. But too many proteges stay at this beginner level. They become consumed by it, hence weak and depleted. Lust should be brought out after the work has been accomplished, a reward.”
“What work?”
“In due time.”
He went on.
“Do you know why I approached you? Because you are at a crossroads. You have marriage problems, you have an enemy who you still haven’t confronted sitting there just itching for you to come and rip out his heart. Aren’t you ready to take it from him? All those people who underestimated you over the years. What did you do? You proved them wrong at all points. When you were made fun of for being too fat, not only did you lose weight, you became world class. You love proving people wrong, and pulling their heart out at the same time. You feel so intensely about so much. It is a power that can be harnessed to win all struggles, all setbacks. But there has to be an energy exchange. We watched you for years win these struggles and the glee with which you smote your enemies, made them jealous of you. But see, with great victory, jealous people like him, sneak into your life. He was a snake, that’s your problem. Your vengefulness is what you makes you powerful. Your kindness is what makes you weak.”
“The curse of feeling,” I said.
“No! Desire is powerful, it’s how you use and harness it. You built yourself into a machine, but you lack the cunning. I can teach you that. Your cunning only comes out when you are hurt by someone. You must learn to be cunning at all times.”
“If I’ve always been like this, why come to me now?”
“Like I said, you are at a crossroads. You had to suffer first to see that all this good guy bullshit doesn’t matter. What did it bring you? Loss. Just taking Ls.”
He was right. I couldn’t resist any longer. I stared out the window.
“What do you see when you look out there,” he asked.
“Vacancies.”
“Correct. And you have some far off recollection somewhere in the recesses of your mind that you can fill that vacancy, don’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You can’t. This world is broken, those people are selfish but they lack will. They aren’t even worth saving. You know this, why do you struggle with it so much? After all that’s been done to you?”
“Because..”
“Because what!!!” His voice took on a sinister tone and shook me to my core, it even dropped an octave. I had to look away from his black eyes only to see the 1950s cut outs smiling at me. All I wanted was a slice of apple pie to make it all better, but I knew it wasn’t coming.
“Because hope or faith…”
“HOPE! HOPE! Look out that window… look.”
I turned my head slowly unsure of what I would see, I get it man, these people aren’t worth it. Instead, a tall beautiful brunette, an absolute 10, juicy breasts, long legs, probably about 5 foot 10 walked by. She looked right at me. I saw the lower lip tuck under and imagined the wet drip between her legs as she turned her head and continued to walk.
“That’s the only hope you have. Forbidden, but there, just waiting for you to take it. Are you willing to take what is rightfully yours? It’s waiting for you.”
“I am but…”
“Do you know why I chose you? The people in my profession get to hand select who we want to mentor.”
I shook my head no.
“There are many adepts out there who are worthy of chances. But it’s hard to say sometimes who is worth the trouble. After all, I exist in the realm of time, same as you. Bound to it here. Many, like you want that 10 who just walked by. Few will do the work necessary to attain it. Even after the suffering, even after the will is there to do what is necessary. But only a very select few have that thing.”
“What is the thing?”
“A few with the predilections like yourself, who know that this world needs cleaning up, to make way for the strong, have certain qualities that are extraordinary. Most if not all, of these very few, only contain one of the qualities. It’s almost impossible to contain more than one.”
“So I contain more than one?”
“No. You contain only one, vengeance. But, it’s the manner in which you wield it that I find ADMIRABLE.”
He said ‘admirable’ with a sense of foreboding that I found both scary and exhilarating.
Our waiter appeared.
“Sorry for the wait.”
I hadn’t even noticed that the time had gone by.
“No worries, I’ll have the devil’s eggs with a side of toast and keep the coffee coming.”
I ordered the Reuben.
“Devil’s eggs, that’s it?”
“Yeah, why not?”
We went on talking about food for a few minutes. I talked about the diner and the third date with Kate here. I remember thinking how charming it was, now it just made me sick but yet, there was a new charm, a new outlook on life. I was becoming free to not care anymore, to let go.
“What is your name,” I asked at one point after we had finished our meals.
“It’s better if you don’t know. You know, why don’t you go visit that schmuck in the looney bin? You know you want to. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Tell him about the stealth weapon, perhaps?”
How did he know about that? I’ve never told anyone.
“Go, end it, end him.”
I knew he meant end his hold on me. I decided I would do so.
“I will.”
“See, feels good, doesn’t it? And you haven’t even done so yet. Everything begins in the mind. But the act, ohhhh, the act. Ecstasy. Why be conflicted, you only suffer!”
He was right. I was so done with this battle I had been fighting within myself. I wanted to give in, let the perceived goodness of everything and everyone just evaporate. I only had one question, one that had been lingering since he dropped it.
“You said earlier, something about the manner in which I wield vengeance.”
“Yes, it’s your greatest asset.”
I shook my shoulders and gave him a look like well, get on with it then.
He leaned in, serious, looking in my eyes. They were black, dead. I forgot where I was, my whole self got pulled into a vortex. I was a boy, back in the fields behind my house. A baby deer was on the ground, blood on my hands. I was seven. I had a baseball bat raised over my head, looking to the left I saw him, he was behind a tree, peeking out with that vicious smile. I could feel my teeth grinding as I had the bat raised.
I was back in the diner, staring at him. Did that happen? What?
“You want to fuck Kate’s friend Marla.”
“I mean, not really.”
“Exactly, not really. You don’t REALLY want to. She’s average at best. Probably lousy in bed. But you want to so it hurts Kate. Every stroke with Marla is a payback. And you get to enjoy it.”
He was right, I couldn’t deny it. He knows what makes me tick. Probably always has.
“You did everything right, what society told you was the mark of a good person. And for what? What have you sown as the good book says?”
“Pain.”
“Yes, pain. Don’t you want to experience pleasure? Life is fleeting. No one cares when you are gone, you’re fighting a war trying to be a martyr. Don’t you just want to walk upright, take what is yours? Those dead people out there who don’t deserve their lives also feel like you. The difference is that now you are in the path of greatness and I am here to walk with you. Imagine walking with that woman outside and all the characters in your drama step out of your way. That can be you.”
We sat in silence for who knows how long.
“This is what sets you apart. The willingness to do what you want even though there might be a minor sacrifice on you part, you still will go through with it. Very few have that capacity.”
“I’m in,” I said.
“Good. But you must prove your worth. You must go and confront him.”
I smiled, thinking about the look on his face. I nodded.
“There, it has begun in the mind. Now, the axe must swing again. Don’t worry, I’ll pay for the meal. I have to go though. It’s almost 3:00.”
He stood up, nodded at me, we both smiled. I trusted him and I would prove my worth.
He paid at the register and walked out. I sat there for another 10 minutes contemplating so much in my life, along with all the little moments that led to this place.
I got up from the booth, looked at the clock. It was 3:00. The 50s music had stopped. It was quiet in there, only four other patrons. As I was walking toward the door, my guess is, some worker somewhere, decided to change the music while they were slow. Can’t blame them, how much can you take 50s music? I noticed the song was coming up slowly, from a distance. It wasn’t 50s and I slowed down before walking out, cause I knew it was familiar, but couldn’t quite place it.
Then it hit me, hadn’t heard this one in awhile. It was U2 “Dirty Day.” I found the irony so strong, as if the old guy had flipped a quarter in the jukebox to play this song.
As I hit the door, Bono said, “I don’t know you, and you don’t know the half of it. I had a starring role, I was the bad guy who walked out.”
I was out in the street now, the heat hit me immediately, the air, desert dry. I could still hear the song from outside. “They said be careful where you aim, cause you where you aim, you just might hit. You can hold on to something so tight, you’ve already lost it.”
I wanted to take a walk in the desert air. I remembered the girl, the 10, paraded towards my left. I turned that way and walked in the desert to get my just dessert.